So, we've not been out a whole lot this week. ALL of our activities this week were canceled...basketball, co op, dance, Biggest Looser. The funny part is that there's not really been all that much snow! It makes me laugh sometimes how much it would take for us to get out of school in Indiana, and before the first flakes fly here, things start shutting down! Good times! The kids finally wore me down and we got out and played for a little bit on Monday. They were pelting each other with snowballs, pelting me with snowballs and making snow angels everywhere! It was fun!
I have a whole other blog entry in my head...it's gonna be pretty deep! I've had some thoughts swimming around in my head due to my Bible reading. I have this calendar that has the 'suggested readings' for each day that our church has provided, and I've been making notes all over the thing. I'm only, what, 4 days into February and running out of space already! God's been hitting me with some pretty tough convictions and things to re-think, and it's been really awesome!
We're doing really well with Biggest Looser I think. I won the first 2 weigh ins at Church which was fun! I think I got around $15 both times. I know I didn't win the one this past Friday. I gained 2 pounds, but that still leaves me with loosing 15lbs. in 3 weeks! The 4th weigh in is this coming Friday. Hopefully I'm back on track with a loss. Our eating habits are getting SO much better. Exercise is up and down. Two of the B.L. workouts have been canceled at church, and I/we haven't always done anything to make up for that at home. I have taped stuff off of the tv, but haven't done really well at actually turning them on and doing them! I really need to do that today, because I haven't exercised since last week and my body is going to rebel when I finally do again if I'm not careful!
The fun part is, I'm noticing a difference in my clothes, and a difference in my stamina! That's exciting! BUT...I have a looooong way to go to truly get healthy again! I have 2 gift cards from Christmas that I've been hanging on to, and my sort of short term goal is to be down a couple sizes or so by June, J's and my 10th anniversary! I want to be able to use those gift cards to go out and buy something in a smaller size...maybe even OUT OF THE PLUS SIZES...for our anniversary! I think it's do-able! One of my biggest obstacles has been that even though Jeff ALWAYS tells me that I'm beautiful or gorgeous...I don't FEEL it! I've even gone so far as to have a hard time believing him when he tells me. I broke down right before he went to TCTC...seeing pictures of myself from Christmas had me pretty down...but, I broke down on him, just feeling low about myself, we were all tired from our travels and had kind of been 'missing' each other even in the same house, if that makes sense. Just a general sense of distance. We talked for a long time, I told him about my self-image issues, and how 'estranged' I'd been feeling from him. Telling him those things was HARD, and I even think some of the estrangement was me...me holding back because I don't feel cute, pretty or beautiful. I think coping with "The Great Divorce" over the past year and a half has made me edgy too. Knowing that such things can happen to the most unlikely people shakes my foundation at times. Is that crazy? Anyway...we've prayed a lot more together lately, and talked more openly about how I'm feeling and how he's feeling. Our Unplugged week with the church had us forming some more habits, good habits. I/we didn't follow it as strictly as some families, but it was cleansing for us nonetheless.
Alright...I've rambled on and been brutally honest for long enough today :-) I'm going to start showing you how REALLY neurotic I can be if I'm not careful!!! Instead, I'm going to get up out of this chair and go EXERCISE!!! Good times people!!!
